Jokes....Who's got some good ones? Please share!!! NEED COMEDY!
Submitted by ANGELnWard14 on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 23:55.
Please submit your jokes, one liners, and humorous stories so that we may simply lighten up things here.... I want to laugh instead of cynically delighting in researching things and reacting to negative government games.... So, here's my first submission of something cute that I love because I am a "natural blonde" and have heard all the blonde jokes you can imagine!
Q: What goes Vroom....Screech.....Vroom....Screech???
A: A blonde...driving through a flashing red light!!!!
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Hill-Billy, Young Love!
I miss him so much...but not half as much as Angelina misses her daddy!
RIP Billy!
Always Appreciative, "ANGELnWard14"
rev. diana hill - angel happy home network gives the naked truth
yogi and guy - http://www.disclosureproject.com TRUTH - EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL http://www.nationalwardogsmonument.org
a "FULL THROTTLE SALOON".....image...
in one of Cleveland, Ohio backyards....was this photo taken in Ward 14?....
South Euclid area
Those were the days....
...."HE" once was a target of local affections, selective code enforcement, extreme fines, and much more in this comedy of errs of Ward 14, though...."
Always Appreciative, "ANGELnWard14"
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
And, my favorite...
Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Disrupt IT
Thanks, Norm! Great Read...LMAO!
How do you know a blonde has been working on a computer?
There's white out on the screen.
Always Appreciative, "ANGELnWard14"
Where do all the "quotas" go
Where do all the "quotas" go when the city has driven them out of their houses?
To the "Funny Farm"....where everyone is welcome!
I have a drug problem...
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”
I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:
I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to through the house when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen or bathroom sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad’s fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, this land would be a better place.
Always Appreciative, "ANGELnWard14"
Hillbilly Divorce
HILLYBILLY DAYVORCE
A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?'
The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.'
The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?'
The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres'
The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit?
The farmer said, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.'
The lawyer said, 'No, no, I mean, do you have a case?'
The farmer frowned, 'No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere.'
The lawyer sighed, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?'
The farmer said, 'Yes, course I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere'
The lawyer started to get exasperated, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?'
The farmer shook his head, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.'
By now the lawyer is at the end of his tether but tries one last question. He asked the farmer:
"WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
The farmer looked up at the lawyer and said, "Because I can't have a meaninful conversation with my wife!"
Always Appreciative, "ANGELnWard14"