Merry Christmas to All!

Submitted by ANGELnWard14 on Sun, 12/20/2009 - 14:27.

So, it's Christmas time in Cleveland.... we got to drive by the Christmas Story House...and through downtown to see the lights....and we got to see Santa Claus at one of the Christmas projects....and we got to see the Christmas Special at the Church.... and now we will enjoy the amusements of a quiet Christmas counting our priceless blessings.... We actually put up a Christmas Tree and some decorations too. We are very lucky...or so I think so.

I just thought I'd find some energy to wish everyone a healthy and prosperous holiday season. We all know what a challenging year this has been.... for everyone...

As I count my blessings of having a beautiful, healthy child, of having a roof over our heads (at least for a few more weeks), of having utilities on (for a few more days), of having enough love in my heart to remind my child that Santa is everywhere in these least for now...

I shed light on the fact that so many are scraping together the sinew to appreciate the little having a warm bed to sleep in at night and food on the table...

While so many more are fretting about how to find the gas or bus money required to get to their minimum wage jobs-- if they are even blessed enough to have those....and how to get prescription meds for their family members without health insurance... and how to prevent a fire with the electric heaters when the gas is shut off for nonpayment.

The few who are blessed enough to be above all of the chaos of poverty shutter at the "negativity" of the poor, crazy, and uneducated populace who thrive on priceless love, family, and survival to possibly live through the month, let alone to know the pleasures of a vibrant, joyous, and festive holiday dinner. retrospect...the year has been a rollercoaster of enthusiasm, hope, aspirations, and tragedy...  

My happiness comes in finally having the realities of our corrupt government's behaviors being exploited all over the place...that's a beginning to the justice for the little people who have been starved out by their lying, stealing, and cheating actions.... while they have lived high on the hog, gotten overpaid for their work, and abused the processes of so many agencies meant to do good- the little bitter people finally feel a breath of fresh air and confirmation for the well known history that they have fought through for years.... Cleveland's Underground White Collar Criminals....all I can say is, "IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!" 

Cynicism runs rampant in the veins of the families who scuttle to gather the lists of documents required to stand in line and wait to ask for foodstamp assistance or cash assistance which is most often denied in today's day and age. Go to school, get a job, put your kid with a babysitter....maybe even a child molester if you aren't exceptionally careful.... Yep, I am amazed by the mother who put all her faith in GOD above and took some PAXIL to reduce her anxieties and put her kids in another's care because of the forced dynamics....only to find out that the care provider was abusing them from day one....oops...she did her best. But, be aware this doesn't just happen to the happens in the burbs wonderful.

Yep, I am sick to my stomach with the 200+/- ads per day being posted on Craigslist (locally) with deviant married (straight) men soliciting NSA (No Strings Attached) Sexual acts from other bisexual and gay men in our areas (M4M)...the ones who come in from the burbs to pick up guys down on Detroit and so forth....their unsuspecting wives and fake lives amaze me.... And they wonder why I don't believe in marriage??? HELLO....we live in such a world of deviant, unsuspecting liars and frauds that it's difficult not to get a little disgruntled...but those are the hidden secrets of our world that most say should be kept on the "down low!" hahaha (P.S. wives...get tested regularly b/c you never know!)

In August, my child's father died from DETOXING from Alcoholism...boy did we fight for years about his alocoholism...he was a good man at heart, but his addictions were so destructive. The quiet has taken months to settle more harrassing phone calls at all hours of the day and more disruptions with chaos and distractions about drama that he worked up as an excuse to hear my voice...No more baby daddy not paying child support... No more child custody battles over negligent situations due to his drinking too much... No more runs to the emergency room because he had a seizure from trying to get more praying that he'd overcome this disease.... but worse than that....

There's no more daddy to read books to my child, to take her to the park, to get excited over every detail of her life, to attend her school pagents, to take her to the museums, to take her to the zoo, to take her to the pond and feed the ducks, to swing her on the swings, to color with her, to cook with her, to brag about her, to fret over her beauty, to want for her more than he wanted for himself, to have lemonade stands in the front yard, to ride bikes with her, to spoil her with a house full of fun and games, to love her more than he loved himself....despite his inadequacies as a financial provider....he was a priceless dad who had a disease that our world looks down on so severely...addiction and alcoholism. But, he's in heaven now and those who are able bodied and able minded don't have to be bothered by his lifestyle anymore... but, the realities of all the care providing that he did for his aging mother have now become the responsibilities of his siblings who had gotten to live their lives all of these years... and that's priceless. one likes the long blogs...what was my point...Merry Christmas....

Perhaps this world of caring folks will keep challenging the world to make changes for the better. I hope that the New Year finds inspiration, charisma, and a levelling out of revelations in the negatives...while opening up new doors filled with opportunities for the folks who are surviving in the shelters, on the streets, and who will die without feeding their addictions. I hope that folks learn to accept the ones that they love for who they ARE, not who they once WERE...have no regrets... I have heard so many regrets from those who tried everthing except, acceptance! 

God doesn't promise tomorrows. Remember the really less fortunate who stand around the parking lots without HOPE and who suffer from so much more than a stubbed toe. Realize the true hunger in their eyes and don't judge the smell of alcohol on their tattered clothing so severely... offer them a smile, a ray of light....

May God Bless everyone... forgive my ranting, raving, and reality just hit me hard as I grumbled about the furnace being broke down, the water heater taking a dump a couple nights ago, and the car being deadlined that I am blessed with a wealth of love, riches of friends, and the gift of sharing despite my own dillemas. Yet, as I see the haughty, snub nosed, professionals who act so discourteous, inconsiderate, and demeaning at our community... I wonder what has happened to our society? You cannot take those high dollar bling bling items with you when you, best wishes in your lives.

Feed our hungry, house our homeless, protect our families, respect our elders, appreciate the little things of survival...and let's conquer these corrupt issues to rebuild our city! 

Merry Christmas....just me.

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AngelWard14 describes REALneo

You can be proud of the forceful and imaginative election energy you pumped out.   I especially liked your wall sign in car headlights. 

And you express - with dynamite - the real condition of so many - not just in NEO but all over the country.  Sorry for your loss, and your daughter's loss, this summer.

Today, as every day, (week ends and holidays included) Cuyahoga County paid Music Man Harold Hill, AKA Chris Kennedy $11,000.00 dollars.  

Your government is functioning well.  

Best, jeffb


Wow!  After all that you

Wow!  After all that you still send all of us a Merry Christmas message.  Sorry to hear about your loss.  Addiction in any form is a horrible disease that affects everyone in the person't life.  You are so right, we need to accept people and show some kindness.  Thanks for the reminder. 

Have a very Merry Christmas ANGELnWard14. 

Christmas Story

Thank you for sharing your story here.  And keep on fighting the good fight.  As you noted in a personal correspondence--today, December 21st, has been set aside as a day to recognize (and hopefully address) the condition of homelessness.

We all need to help each other stay warm :)

My youngest son and his

My youngest son and his family may find themselves homeless soon.  He was unable to pay his house payment and all the other expenses of living and he really just gave up making his house payments.  He has asked for help from ESOP and has a preliminary court date on Jan. 19 and another court date in April. 

The good news is that he won't have to move until April.  I think he really doesn't want his home anymore as he is just unable to afford to pay the mortgage and keep up with the needed repairs...he needs a new repairs..etc., and pay utilities and provide for his family. But he probably can't afford to rent anyplace either even though he works full time at the Cleveland Clinic.  Cleveland Clinic has no union and the pay for the low end workers is low, too low to afford to be a home owner even in the City of Cleveland.  Such is life.

I'm so sorry to hear this...


One of my sisters was living with me and my mom last year and part of this year.  I live with my mom because she's afraid to live alone, and because there's no way she could even manage a house this size by herself.  It's not a big house, but it's not small either.  In any case, my sister who has three kids was homeless, because she didn't have money to keep the habitat for humanity home she had gotten 15 years ago. 

But about 6 months ago a miracle happened.  Even as the house was in foreclosure, some anonymous doner put up the money to pay off the rest of the house...we're talking tens of thousands of dollars.  We never knew who did this, but my sister's house was saved and now her kids have a place to live all their own.

My mom and other siblings have never had to deal with this, at least not in recent decades.  So, it can be said that God really is good.

And there really are good people still left in the world, but sometimes it's hard to see when one is swamped with hardship and negativity.


Eternity, thanks for your

Eternity, thanks for your concern and your story of HOPE.  I will keep praying for that miracle. 

Oh, and I am also happy that

Oh, and I am also happy that things worked out for your sister and her family.  That is good news.

W14R and Angel

W14R, your poor son and family! I am sorry that things have become so difficult that he no longer wants to own a house. I hope that he is able to stay in the house until April, when at least the winter is over. It is a shame that this is happening to a Cleveland Clinic employee who earns so little that he can't keep a roof over his head. It is also a shame that there is no place to turn for help in Cleveland.

Angel, please accept condolences in the loss of you daughter's father, and the loss of a former partner of your own. This is such a tremendous loss for a young person.

To both: a wish for a peaceful Christmas, and we all need to count our blessing, as Angel said it so well: there are no promises of tomorrow. 

dwebb, you are so right. 

dwebb, you are so right.  It is best to count our blessings and focus on the good things in our lives, which are many.

A peaceful Christmas wish to you and yours. 


Thank you all....for your thoughts...

I have not had much time to get online over the last few months.... But, I was blessed to make a few minutes tonight to visit RealNeo and try to find some peace take a quiet moment... and to think back to the moments of last year... I just finished reading my old I never even thought about responses. Yet, in finding your responses, I am totally appreciative and amazed. Thank you all.

I join in the battle to save my home. I have approximately 30 days to save it from property tax foreclosure....$8,500 (includes 1800 in overinflated old taxes, 2423 in current arrears, and over $6,000 in interest, penalties, and legal court costs...)  Losing work, taking care of family, and mitigating so many tragic family issues over the last 3 years has been devastating. I have approximately 30 days to save it and balance the budget of to impossible at this stage as I am only receiving $373/month in Social Security plus some food stamps......but still fighting to overcome the odds and preserve my home after so much more... I have to repair the furnace and move back into the house to get assistance from Neighborhood Housing Services...if I qualify for the debt to income sustainability...but without work-it's a close challenge to overcome those dynamics... Yet, I am unyielding to overcome the odds...and trying to find work to save my life. If they goes so much more than my hope...Like most employment opportunities).

My humanity has been depleted and topped off since Christmas with my father almost dying due to 2 hernias that required emergency surgery and have post operative requirements that prevent him from doing much for himself...

Last year, for a moment in time, I found solace and hope in being actively engaged in this community...I shall forever be an advocate and help those I can...but I believed for a brief moment last year that our community deserved the opportunity to be a part of the solution and I believed in rallying them up and getting them to get involved in this community... I heard so many stories, referred so many citizens to resources, and invited them to actively participate....but then saw how quickly that they retracted back behind their closed doors...unwilling to participate because of their laundry lists of problems...they wanted someone else to do it for them, to be a leader, to be an activist, and to stick their necks on the line for them... They wanted leadership most importantly.

Hope, inspiration, and empowerment are priceless commodities in our community. The souls of uncountable citizens need rejuvenated with an endless supply of positive energy... As I begin to watch the quiet millionaires squirm due to the economy... I wonder how much more our community can take?.... What will it take to build up our people, to provide jobs, and to keep them alive in the future? 

Perhaps I am rambling from the exhaustion of seeking out answers that leads me back to the cores of corruption along the line... stonewalling, blacklisting, and retaliation are amongst the lists of words that comes to mind for my undying efforts last year.... When my furnace died-I applied for HWAP-Back in's March 05...still no response to that application. Haha....I just got tired of December-a friend of mine in Arizona sent his friend to help repair my "deadlined" the GRACE OF GOD after my electric bills went through the roof and into disconnect for the usage of electric heaters....surviving the crap.... Yep, I stood up and shared some vulnerable truths about the things I saw....and I believe that I pay the price in several areas due to my beliefs...and my actions... The powers that be seem to think I miss their devouring anihilation of my spirit....but, I feel their wrath...I watch their backroom games...and I see how dirty they play their political games... smiling in your face and backdooring you anyway that they can as though it's all okay.

My financial inability to recover things has led to things being worse than they should be....being unable to qualify for assistance that must be approved by factions that disagree with my humorous. Conflicts of interest seem to be the exit strategy for anyone not wanting to own responsibility for not making a decision...haha...for redirecting responsibility...

Yep, I own my life choices... In the interim of reacting to the medical needs of multiple disabled family members, being a single mom, and seeing corruption at so many levels....while attending hundreds of doctor appointments, school events, and trying to get help....I missed out on working for someone who'd put up with me missing work for all of the above while trying to react to crisis in every direction including a menacing ex, funerals, and by the way...trying to overcome the break downs of a car, the demands of parenthood (strep throat, eye surgery, and multiple other appointments).... yeppers...I tried to balance too much and ultimately had come to find a sense of  escape here at Realneo...a place where people voiced their truths to make a positive difference....Yes, I found peace here.... at least for a moment in time.

As I find myself up against the wall, trying to save my home due to the tragic domino effect of life events beyond my control, and working to stay afloat after the extraordinary losses I have survived.... I must admit I am exhausted...but far from defeated.... This weekend...I plan to take a deep breath, recalibrate my efforts, and come out fighting to save my overcome the obstacles, to recover the damages, and to progress forward...with my head held high...even if I don't least I shall know that I tried, fought the good fight, and stood up for what I believed in...against ALL ODDS! 


For all the folks who stand up for the little people and fight the good fight, I send you all a salute... For all the folks who challenge the corrupt activities within our system, I say a prayer. For all those who do not let these small defeats keep them down....I offer my endless hope and hope that you find rejuvenation in the fighting spirit to conquer those who left ethics, humanity, and faith at the door....yep...I hope you don't quit...I hope you continue to advocate, to investigate, and to find the answers...but most of all...I hope you work to build up the spirit of those depressed, less fortunate, and devastated folks who are too jilted to stand up and fight back on their own....

I am not always right, my opinions are not always important, my thoughts are not always relevant...but my pain is real, my sacrifices are real, and my love for my family is undying....and I consider my community, my family too... So, I keep believing in the possibilities of a community coming together to save the day for eachother.... and I keep on keeping on! 


Thanks to everyone for sustaining hope in the endless possibilities when the tunnelvision of the sacrifices and sufferage have taken their toll....

May God Bless You All with health, happiness, and enless inspiration & hope....


undying family love

 I am so sorry for your challenges right now, Ward14. 

You'll be in my thoughts. I wish I could do more, but we are financially marginal ourselves. But, please do let me know if there is anything I can do.

Maybe there is, I'll keep thinking.

AngelWard14 welcome back

Good to see your thoughtful writing back on Realneo.  best, jeffb

I'd start by fighting fines and court costs

Demand a reassessment - demand lots of government attention - move into the County Administration building until they fix the system. Live there or be homeless.

I'm not kidding - sit in time.

Disrupt IT

Hard times

That cliche does not do it here. So much loss, and it keeps going on. I am really sorry for all of this AngelnW14, and for your fight ahead. The people that you have posted about helping don't have the resources, be it money or the know how, to help the helper. I hope that you can take it one step at a time, focusing on you and your daughter for a change, and hope that others come through to share the heavy load that you have been shouldering. I hope that you can set aside whatever can be set down, and fight the good fight for yourself, and win. It will take everything that you have to get it done,  and saving your home is crucial. Best of luck.

A BTW, Rokakis did announce that owner occupied homes will not be foreclosed on due to late property taxes at least through June, so that extends the time a bit, and I'd worry about the arrears first, and fees and penalties later as banks get happier when the arrears are caught up. 


blues skys today

 I was out this afternoon with my binoculars trying to find that early spring bird with a beautiful large song, but I found myself entranced by a sheer sheet of blue sky. As a child, I would have called it Easter egg blue. I had been on a nosedive to the seasonal downward spiral from lack of sunshine, and this really helped. Later, waiting a Clark Fulton drug store, I looked around at folks on the street who seemed happier, a springer step and a hint of a smile on their face. Sunshine, blue sky, and small birds with big voices are life affirming, Cleveland...

It would be a pleasure to find justice after filtering through the multiple levels of the Ohio Revised Code, learning about some of the Treasurer and Auditor's roles & responsibilities...and learning that no amount of my personal anguish, losses, or frustrations over title company closing mistakes or the greed of Plymouth Tax Service will reverse my case back to the auditor and empower the treasurer & auditor to be more realistic about the truths (my tax arrears were more than double my original purchase price) & that houses in Cleveland were being OVERINFLATED & ASSESSED at market values far above the demographic & census supporting information.... of incomes that could support the inner city housing boom and real estate nightmare that we now are living through....

I have exhausted almost all efforts, even tried getting the house exempted as a place of worship for the Devil!(hahha=tenants were destructive after I left to care for my dad.)  However, all those arguments are moot when you have other more immediate crisises to survive like the needs of your family members...

I'd be better off having a fundraiser than wasting my time moving into the county admin building.... the corruption has been revealed, the investigations will be pending for years to  come regarding the unscrupulous actions that have devastated our city as a whole....unless of course someone wishes to hire an attorney for what I believe should be a "CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT" By all the property owners against the auditor & treasurer for allowing this entire city's real estate market to be abused so heavily....for so long.... We are actually ALL victims at so many levels...the only solace is that I do have family to help us to hold over through to better matter how undesirable it is to live with them directly-it beats the admin building! Smiles.

I believe that our County should take all of that money from the Federal Govt and bring everyone's property taxes up to date and stop paying all these folks to mitigate the middle ground.... at least then-we ALL would get a fresh start....but that would be too late for those who have already lost and totally unfair to them too.... and all it would do is fill the pockets of our already "FAT" what good would it do? 

My dad told me to run for office after all the stuff I learned the last couple of years...I told him that I'd rather reenlist and head for a deployment in my chances of surviving the turmoil would be greater in IRAQ than in Cleveland! haha....

You say, "Welcome Back".... I say to myself..."Be very careful....Don't get caught up in feeling or wasting energy behind this computer that is non productive.... get moving, find a job, make MORE sacrifices, and stay positive...but don't give up....." at least that's what I tell myself while I pray that a miracle will fall out of the sky.....because my spirit cannot stay focused for long enough to even get one project finished when 20 are waiting for me at the table... I say to myself, "get out of this city, stop caring, just go away from this cess pool and quit trying to save the world when you cannot save yourself within it...."

It was much simpler when I really did believe in those programs of social service and was able to refer a tenant to them for assistance...But then as I see the staffs of these agencies sit around joking about things as we grovel for their assistance...I find myself disillusioned with their insincerity, their almost "unionized" working a simple 9-5 and making weekend those of us who don't have a direct job-get caught up in trying to figure out how to sell the washer to afford the electric bill?X@#!

The humor of being poor is that you want for nothing and have nothing to lose in the end... So, even if I go sit in on the Admin building downtown...who's going to get it? (as they hastily rush off to their 5:30pm drinking sessions with other employees to laugh, joke, and cheer to the wonderful lives they are living..." Today, a millionaire told me that the "end of the world is coming" made me think about the ideas of just giving up and walking away from an unenjoyable life in Cleveland.....

I am going to keep myself from quitting, getting angry at the system or from treating others as hanously as they have treated our community with their predatory actions at so many levels that my head spins to think about things...I am now a MINORITY in this community-and have been for a long time...Tis life... now I comprehend why the folks are disillusioned...deeply....

I don't have the fighting spirit for the community at large...I must put an oxygen mask on and save myself in this crashing situation... I still sustain my beliefs that I don't want to be encircled with greedy, selfish, corrupt, and disingenuous folks...there are very few left in our world who truly appreciate, value, and stand up for our rights consistently, unwavering to the odds that they'll get hurt by doing the right thing...

For now, I am breathing deeply and trying to keep my head's supposed to be a beautiful weekend...there's a half tank of gas left in my shall I use it with no income in sight for another several weeks??? haha...when you get this far out of wack with finances, you learn how to make that half tank last 3 jokes.

BTW...thanks for those ideas of making demands...I did that....the tax certificate folks were pretty unyielding....they want all of their money or sheriff lender is more reasonable at all levels. I am just so tired. I still have to finish repairs due to the housing hawks and other vandalism ....haha...So, I will go clean up some more messes I did not save my house. I'll do my best with all my sinew....and I will pray and pray and pray that everything will fall into place by the next hearing. If not, I will watch all that work go to Sheriff so many others before me...and I will also be yet another person who left Cleveland to escape the games that are portrayed on the low income folks which keeps them at the bottom of the rung of life....

Guys....I am but one in this the time our leadership learns how to protect our citizens, educate our young, provide integral leadership to organizations and local government, my grandchildren will have their own grandchildren.... I have watched priceless advocates repeat this process, fight the system, and miss out on life itself while they researched tirelessly for answers, worked themselves to the grindstone trying to right so many wrongs....and I have come to such a state of frustration with it all...that I simply don't have the energy to jump from being the one explaining to my child why God chose to take her daddy to heaven over to a magistrate's office to beg their mercy much more.... There is evidently-no relief in sight...other than my very own perserverance....

And so, I pray to find the strength to do what I need to do to move, groove, and keep my head about me as the world seems to spin faster and faster....Thanks me if you have any new ideas.... For now...I am going to close this until I have saved my home....or lost, lose or draw-it's time to get down to business of saving my world.... May God Bless. HUGS, APPRECIATION, and ENDLESS ADMIRATION FOR YOU ALL! 


8 Days....til Property Tax Judgment Lien


I got a repreive of 2 weeks to find a job, qualify for a grant, and possibly save my house...but problem is- I need to earn over $500.00 more per month to qualify....anyone hiring? Smiles. But, courts on 3/22 and it's the final hearing when the judge says Judgement for Plaintiff! I need $6,000 just to stop that foreclosure part and still have another $2,500 in arrears since then....

Saturday, I went to my house to start the work to rehab the damages from my familial destruction....only to find that the vandals broke in and stole my copper plumbing...yet another additon to the problems. After waiting about an hour for the police to arrive and take a police report and as I worked to clean up feces off of the walls, scrape crap off of the floors, and scour the bathroom-I found myself more defeated minute by minute.... what is wrong with the citizens in this city? 

When I left, my strut blew out of my car after not being able to avoid every pothole...Upon arriving home, I got notice that the final hearing for the tax foreclosure is set for March 22nd. Amazing grace. I prayed for strength not to completely lose my cool as my child sat near me...but the tears of sheer defeat in this city began overflowing beyond my control. My child came to hug me and tell me it would all be okay....So, I have sat home today to try and find a sense of peace with changing my program from saving my home to salvaging my personal belongings....that's all the spirit I have left in this matter.

I have no sinew left to fight this regime for ask another person for help... or to be denied after another paperwork list of humiliation.... Life's been a challenge for all too long. I'll figure it out through the end of the school year-then I will move out of Cleveland to stay with my family out of town. Maybe then everyone will be happy to continue with their games on the unsuspecting, vulnerable and less fortunate citizens who don't fight for their rights! 

2 Years since he died...

Tomorrow, 8/13 will have been my child's dad's 49th Bday. We lost him 2 years ago....


What an amazing journey it has been....and continues to be.

Always Appreciative, "ANGELnWard14"

2 Years since he died...

Tomorrow, 8/13 will have been my child's dad's 49th Bday. We lost him 2 years ago....


What an amazing journey it has been....and continues to be.

Always Appreciative, "ANGELnWard14"