If you had a moment of time left to say your "GOODBYES" to someone notified of a terminal illness; what would you do with that opportunity? They say that there's five stages to death...denial, depression, bargaining, anger, and acceptance. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model [1] The grief that comes with this journey is absolutely inexplicable. I am personally knee deep in the process. My father has been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer... No matter what happens; the inevitable is smacking us in the face. I believe that the process is absolutely mind boggling. Telling you about bargaining with death and transforming your lifestyle to fight the beast killing your family member is significant because within my soul I can only tell you that I am hurting far beyond my words and outwardly appearance. The entire process is absolutely humanly depleting. I want to scream at people who are innocent. I want to rattle the necks of Doctors who have no positive news. I want to slap half ass lackadaisical nurses and hospital personnel who are simply inadequate. I want to praise the good ones--but making time for them now against the clock of life and death is something that can wait. Getting to the grocery store to stock up on fresh foods is imperative---getting that nutrition and building up the immune system is the most important. Nutrition means quality of life & cancer fighting tools inside their body. Heck, while our family is at it---we'll all join in the eating process. Watching them look at death in the face and take a deep gulp and make decisions is heavy. Researching, reading, learning, processing, translating to laymen's terms, following up with medical folks to understand, and still dealing with the normal daily dozen is totally overwhelming. Sustaining a hectic schedule and holding your head up when you want to put it between your knees and cry is such a challenge. Asking others to pray at every corner of this process is both draining and absolutely revitalizing when you're up against the odds and fighting for their life. Straining your budget to make countless trips to the hospital, hoping someone will come visit and distract from the depression eating you up...it's really tiring. Realizing that there are friends praying for you globally while local friends always put things off til tomorrow forces you to channel your energies. Having a priceless friend show up and take your car for a fill up and to check the fluids while you cater to your family member's needs is truly precious. Getting a hug from a friend who actually lets you cry and doesn't tell you to Grow up or deal with it is far more priceless than I can share. You see, life's a challenge every which way you slice it. You win some and you lose some. You manage no matter what. Anyhow, I'm gonna rest a day and then keep on trudging through it all. Maybe we'll get some quality time that is uninterrupted by the doom hovering over us. Maybe people will set aside their fears and make time while he's still alive and kicking to make time to share with him. Maybe, maybe not. I just know that every moment is precious right now and when it's all over....nobody better cry on my fricken shoulder about their bygones! Hugs, prayers and blessings.............Just saying....
Links:
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model